ODE TO FOOTBALL
The 6th of May, 2025, FC Barcelona lost to Inter Milan in the Champions League Semi Finals. This broke my heart!
10 years! I’ve been dreaming of the team getting back to the final for 10 years but the dream will have to wait a while. On the 6th of May, 2025, I was left with a bad taste in my mouth because of the loss.
You see, at the beginning of the season, we believed the best we could do in the Champions League was the round of 16. Every Barcelona fan believed this because the prior season was rough, we’re broke and we just couldn’t crack the code. But then these players started playing their hearts out. They made me believe. They made me dream. And then the dream was shattered by Inter Milan. Look below at the minutes the goals were scored. We (Fc Barcelona) were minutes away from reaching the final. Minutes! Then a man who hasn’t scored this year gave them life in the last minute of the game. GUTTED, ONCE AGAIN! BUT I’M CALM, THIS IS PART OF LIFE.
Why am I writing about this?
Well, this month’s theme is Sports. And believe it or not, Football played a role in me being a writer so today, I shall write my heart out.
On the 6th of May 2009, I stood in a crowded pub with a family friend when all of a sudden, they all screamed. That day changed my life. That day was fate. That was the day things changed for me. Iniesta had scored the goal that sent Barcelona into the final of the Champions League in the dying second. The world erupted, my heart erupted. Fire in my belly. Honestly, I had no idea what happened that day. They screamed and I thought it was good. I felt good. I felt something I had never felt before.
That night, “W” gave me a Barca hand band and so on that day, I became a Barcelona Fan. I became a culer. That day began the long story of how I got here, how I became a writer.
The short story because this will be the Long piece or rant I’ve published on Substack. Enjoy the short version: “Due to depression which was due to external factors, I was gifted football. Barca & Messi became my safe haven which lead me to writing articles on the sport in Middle School. For some reason, this led me to taking English classes and because I enjoyed English classes, I yearned for more. I started editing videos. Link to my videos? Click here. I began to read books, and decided to write stories which ultimately led me here.”
Crazy right?
Now, if you’re wanting to read the longer story, buckle up!
After that day in 09, Barca went on to win the champions league in Rome. I remember the 2 goals vividly and I became mesmerized. Those goals are etched in my mind. Messi’s header still brings a smile to my face. Just look at this:
Anyways, the joy I felt that day fully brought me into the world of football. And I began watching games. The World Cup in South Africa, Iniesta’s goal in the final of the World Cup, then came 2010/2011 season. This was were it truly began. Barca were on their way to winning the League and the Champions League. I screamed, cried, enjoyed every moment of this season. I was 10 by the time the season ended. 2011 - 2013 was a blur. I know I continued to watch Barca’s games but not as much I as I do now. 2014 World Cup came around and I supported Messi’s Argentina. And when his dream ended in the final, it broke my heart. How could the man I love so much be so broken? He gave his all and still, he lost. It was around this time I started to understand that this sport gave me joy so I could take the abuse at home. After the World Cup, Messi went on a demon run and so did I. Because of the what was happening at home from physical abuse to emotional abuse to psychological abuse, my school’s library was a safe haven. I would get to school early in the morning and head to the computers to read recent updates on the team. I would learn what was happening, what could happen. I would catch up on missed games and so much more. I would print the articles as well just in case. After doing this, I would walk around the library and pick a book, maybe comics and begin to read till it was time for class.
That year, my soul was with the club. It brought me out of the darkness I was in and I thank God till this day for bringing football into my life. It’s hard to talk about what happened to me. Everytime I write about it, I have to delete it because it feels so real once again. But it is what it is - that’s life I guess. Now, during that year, I was at peace despite all that was going on. And I was filled with Joy when the club won the 2nd treble, the first club to it twice. So proud and filled with joy, I was ecstatic for the summer and began playing football as well. And it was during this time that I was again heartbroken.
You see, he showed up at my game to watch me and decided not to do so again because the coach subbed me out. That broke me, left me shattered. I continued to try to please him in many ways than I could imagine but nothing changed. He never showed up to a game again. But with Barca on top of the world, I continued life with joy. And though the next 5 years weren’t all good for the club, watching them play brought me joy. Seeing new players brought me joy.
Then Russia happened, the 2018 world cup. My fondest memory was with my older brother (now passed). We were watching a must win game for Messi and Argentina. Messi had to win against Nigeria. My brother and I watched the game together and when I screamed for the goal Messi scored, he launched at me haha. I miss him. Miss talking football with him. He would have loved Arsenal run in the champions league this season haha. Oh man! Let’s continue.
Messi went on to lose to France in the Round of 16. I was sad but it was here I started to watch football as a whole. I was a Barca fan at heart but I wasn’t emotionally invested as I was the previous years because it does take a toll on you when the team loses. And just watching football as a whole brought on a different experience. I became enthralled with how the game is played. Tactics, Style of play, Goals, Saves, Defence I focused on. I watched poetry in motion and it was a good thing, still is. With things escalating at home, I left for college. There I continued to write. I started The Oyolys my first year in college. And I found friends that also wrote. One thing I realized at this point of my life was that I couldn’t keep friends. I pushed them away because I didn’t want to get hurt. I still have a bit of that in me nowadays but working on it.
My writing continued and I started writing poetry. My first had to be an ODE TO MESSI. I was called a psycho for this by a friend but it was needed. I was thankful for the gift of football and obviously the greatest football of all time. As the years went by, I slowly dropped writing football articles and focused on stories. Writing became more for me than Football. Slowly, football was a watch once in a while sort of thing and writing was a do it everyday thing.
Then I found the Soaring Twenties (why I’m writing this long piece/rant). At first, I left the club (my nature to leave people before they leave me) but then I found my way back into the club. Here, I got to read so many good works and meet my fav writers. One of them obviously being the chief man Thomas J Bevan. Reading his earliest essays made me feel belonged. There I also found Trilety, Jeanne, Vanya, Dane and many more.
Without those screams in 2009, these words wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have found peace. So, I guess this is an ODE TO FOOTBALL?
This last year, football has been huge part of my life. I started watching more and I’m enjoying it. I also started playing a LOT more. Two games a week that leaves my body feeling like a 90 year old man (my nickname in college) but It’s all good. The beautiful game will continue to be a part of my life and just so thankful for it.
Now, you’ve read this far. Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read these words of mine.
Now, it’s time to watch a game. Brighton plays Wolves. Hopefully the seagulls win today.
Till next time,
gkgaius
Deo Volente
p.s. If you’d like to get on a zoom call to have human conservations, let me know.