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1 - Isaac
I had an idea for an essay based on a few memories that popped into my head a few days ago. The memory was of my best friend, Isaac. I saw us at his mother’s office, outside playing football. He would dribble past me and I would fall. He would run past me while we played police and thief with our friends. One day they asked us to run, just to see who was faster. I knew he was faster than me so I tripped myself a few meters into the race. These memories I now cherish.
It took me a while to realize that his name and my son’s name are the same. When my fiancée told me she was pregnant, the name Isaac was the first thing that popped into my head, so I looked up to God and asked “Why Isaac?” The only thing I could think about was Abraham’s Isaac, so I kept the name when we found out it was a boy. I knew there was a connection between these humans (Best Friend Isaac, Abraham’s Isaac, My son Isaac) so I began to write an essay, but I couldn’t make sense of it.. Soon after, I began to write a poem instead and found myself lost.
My Stars, My Rain, My Youth Forgive me for my estrangement. The conversations we had together crossed my mind and so I long for you. This prodigal son remembers the days I would sit on the cement block point to you, and have a conversation with you This prodigal son remembers the day I would get naked and just run and play football as you touch my skin This prodigal son remembers and so confesses his sins. I used to do those things, but now I hide under an umbrella. Now, I go inside and watch Netflix, use my laptop You watched over me my stars, but I left you. I then became scared of the dark and saw you no more. You made me feel the heavens my rain, but I hid from you after I grew up and now I'm scared I might get sick. This prodigal son is returning to you. Letting go of the lifestyle of mine, so Please forgive me. Watch over me once again, and make me feel the heavens.
I wrote a poem on the memories of the things I used to do, but no longer do. I had forgotten about my best friend. I couldn’t even think of him when I uttered my son’s name for the first time. I have forgotten about my youth, and let go of those ways for cheap thrills. My son brought me back to my past with his name. He connected me to the universe once again. I now long to have conversations at night with the stars. I long to walk in the rain without the urge to run and hide away from him. I long to feel connected to the Earth I walk on. and simply do to do.
I thank my son for this, and I thank God for this.
2 - Let’s Bleed Then Shall We?
A month ago, few months after the above was written, Isaac was welcomed into the world. The tears I shed for him during the final moments of labour I regret not, for he is a light in the darkness and my connection to the world I used to know, the world I used to cherish. During this time, one word ran through my mind.
BLEED. BLEED. BLEED. BLEED. BLEED. FOR HE MUST CONTINUE TO BE A LIGHT.
“Why must I bleed?” I asked myself many times over the past month. “and, what does it mean to bleed?”
The answer was clear after pondering, because I cherish him. I think back to my past. I had the memories of friendship with Isaac and conversations with the stars because I had my father and mother bleeding for me, putting in the work so I could do those things.
So then bleeding must mean to work, so my son is looked after. But it’s more than that. It’s more than sacrificing family for work, missing his future futbol games for work…and more. BLEED ran through my head that day and every other day to tell me that I must get serious about the life of mine and the life of his.
It’s my turn to bleed so my son can have a childhood connected with the stars, connected to the world. Providing and protecting but not toomuch that I risk losing him. Bleeding is no “Hustle Culture” gimmick. Bleeding isn’t work work work. It’s for me to be there for him from Day 1 till the day I leave the Earth.
As my light in the darkness of the world, Isaac continues to teach me lessons with his cries for food or for change in diaper and his smile when I make funny faces to him. A blessing from the Most High and I continue to say thank you Lord, for you have given me a gift I will cherish till the end of time.
Till Next Time,
Deo Volente
I am grateful that you have taken your time to read this work of mine. Thank you so much. I’ll see you next week God-Willing.